I know I am posting a lot about running and my marathon lately, but it’s what I have on my mind right now so I am going to talk about it. Plus, it’s my blog (picture me sticking my tongue out here). ;)
Each day that the marathon gets closer, the more I want to throw up. I honestly don’t remember being this scared the day before my first half marathon. I remember being nervous and feeling like everyone was watching me to see if I could do it, but this time it’s double the distance but gazillion times the pressure to complete it.
I am hoping that if I post my fears and share them with my friends, somehow they will magically be erased from the positive vibes you will all send my way.
So, here is a list of my fears before my first marathon (in no particular order).
1. Wakeup-I am afraid that I will miss my alarm on Sunday and not make it in time for the race or be rushed. This is not a new fear for me because I am perpetually 5-10 minutes late to everything that I do.
2. Sick-Since last Thursday I have been sick with the flu. I went to the doctor and they gave me medicine, but now, four days later I am still not back where I was. I feel about 60% of normal and it sucks! I am terrified that I will still be sick on Sunday. Coughing fits are not fun while you are running 26.2 miles.
3. Parking-I hate trying to find parking at a race, much less fighting with 25,000 other runners who are looking for parking as well. Let’s hope someone will be able to drop me off so I won’t have to worry about it.
4. Not properly trained-Did I train enough? Did I do enough miles? Did I fuel correctly? With being sick for the past two weeks am I losing some of my fitness? Well, it’s too late to worry about that I guess.
5. Lost marbles-Did I seriously lose all my sense and decide to run 26.2 miles? I think I have lost it.
6. Nutrition-Am I going to get enough carbs in my system to be ok on Sunday? What about breakfast? Is my normal oatmeal or bagel with PB going to be ok for this race?
7. Forgetting something-Am I forgetting something? Sports Beans? Nuun? Socks? Body Glide? Sports Bra? Pickles? Ummm. Oh yes, I forgot my marbles (see #5)
8. Letting everyone down-This one is a big one for me. I feel like I am carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders to finish this race. People are so excited for me and are proud of me, but they are also watching me for inspiration. If I don’t finish will they think they won’t be able to finish their goal? Or are some people going to talk about me and say “I knew she couldn’t do it?” Big fear of mine.
9. Not finishing-What if I don’t finish? What if that wall at 20 is too big to overcome?
10. Porta Potties-Ummm. Yuck. I dislike Porta Potties very much and what if I have to go (you know, go) on the course. Sorry, TMI. It’s a real concern.
11. Sleep-What if I can’t fall asleep the night before and I am exhausted?
12. Weather-What is up with the weather these days? Cold? Rainy? No thanks! I need the sun and some breeze but not freezing ice bath worthy temperatures.
13. Drive home-What if I am so tired I can't make it to the car to drive home? Or if I can't even drive home because my legs hurt so much?
14. What if my uterus falls out? Ok, so that one isn't a worry, but it's funny. (edit because I keep getting questions about this one and asked why I would add it: Katherine Switzer was the first woman to run the Boston Marathon because women were not allowed to run a marathon. In those days, it was said that a women's uterus would fall out if they ran that far. Katherine Switzer registered under her first initials and when she was on the course they tried to pull her off using force. Go to her website or google her).
Those are my honest fears for the biggest race I have ever attempted to do to date. Honestly, I am terrified but I know that what is meant to happen will happen and I just need to put one foot in front of the other. I know that God will give me strength for whatever the outcome will be. We will see in a few days.