Today is Jabba's 2nd Angel Birthday! He has been in Heaven acting as a fluffy angel for two years now and seeing my favorite pictures still gets to me.
I know I need to let it go, and for the most part I have, but there are times I miss him so much. I see something that reminds me of him like this little orange and white cat coin purse I saw at the store the other day. I actually teared up because the cat on the coin purse look just like him with his little white nose. I almost bought it but then I decided I might tear up every time I saw it and I don't want that.
Or sometimes I find a computer file that pertains to him or a picture tucked away in a drawer that I didn't expect to see at that moment. It's the times when I am not expecting to see something of his that is the hardest.
Some days when I see something I want to see a picture. My niece had on the 4th of July glasses Jabba is wearing in the photo above and I told her those were Jabba's. She didn't understand because, obviously, the everything in the world is her's, but I knew they were at one time his. I searched for about 20 minutes until I found that picture to show her. Really, it was to show myself that I am OK to see his picture sometimes and it's OK to seek pictures of him sometimes.
One day I will get another cat and he will have a place in my heart. Today though, my heart is not ready for another one and I need someone to help me share the love first. I need a spouse to love and then we can add babies and pets.
Happy Birthday, Baby Boy! Go float on a cloud today and eat some (calorie-free) catnip treats!!!
